I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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