I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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