capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
