how can u be prego again
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
