new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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