Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
