I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
