Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
