i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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