so explain again why im purple
no
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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