if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Don't make out with my wife yet
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
