I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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