New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
