good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
