My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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