Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
