What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
