Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
