Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
