Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
