I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
