can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
