omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
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I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
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The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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