White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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