I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
