yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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