i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
