Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
