he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
