Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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