do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
