its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
