What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
