Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
