Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
