He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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