Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
