Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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