Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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