SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
