He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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