At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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