I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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