I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
