Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
