Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
