I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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