I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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