Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
