Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
