I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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