We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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