At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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