I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
How's work?
Spinning.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
