Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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