dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things