I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.