Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.

Fav 17 1075 3562
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

Fav 38 4947 2817
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

Fav 31 922 5198
share tweet
(925): View more from California

you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

Fav 8 4482 1183
share tweet
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.

(310): View more from California

Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.

Fav 12 2957 1606
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

Fav 2 2364 681
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

Fav 6 1318 820
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants

Fav 1 764 524
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.

Fav 2 170 79
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT