Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard