i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize