When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...