A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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