so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize