Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
