idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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