in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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