i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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