How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house