Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  we are all sexual creatures

  (951): View more from California

  yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.

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  (360): we are all sexual creatures (951): yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any. http://tfl.nu/bk7c
  Replies (9) Good night (819) Bad night (2897)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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  (210): I've decided to bang my pen-pal. http://tfl.nu/dcyn
  Replies (35) Good night (3923) Bad night (654)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends

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  (908): I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends http://tfl.nu/6cx1
  Replies (68) Good night (1471) Bad night (6553)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  please come you make the beer taste better

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  (520): please come you make the beer taste better http://tfl.nu/dzlt
  Replies (16) Good night (4903) Bad night (757)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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  (720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy
  Replies (16) Good night (919) Bad night (7995)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.

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  (203): Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk. http://tfl.nu/6oqy
  Replies (4) Good night (2749) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?

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  (781): At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot? http://tfl.nu/hn75
  Replies (7) Good night (2461) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring

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  (931): Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring http://tfl.nu/mtnj
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (698)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.

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  (843): Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho. http://tfl.nu/pobq
  Replies (9) Good night (1757) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.

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  (712): Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader. http://tfl.nu/60hc
  Replies (1) Good night (1630) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?

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  (303): Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix? http://tfl.nu/afh5
  Replies (2) Good night (948) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?

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  (609): I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian? http://tfl.nu/utza
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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  (713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.

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  (919): All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there. http://tfl.nu/arna
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."

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  (302): You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter." http://tfl.nu/rvq9
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (235)

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