I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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