Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.

(260): View more from Indiana

At least you didn't call me Brittany this time

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(805): View more from California

Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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(440): View more from Ohio

We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

(1-440): View more from Ohio

I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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(406): View more from Montana

It was just a squirrel

(253): View more from Washington

You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

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(914): View more from New York

Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.

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(613): View more from Ontario

After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.

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