Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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  (618): oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me. http://tfl.nu/a68t
  Replies (45) Good night (3641) Bad night (1016)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.

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  (803): I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway. http://tfl.nu/iohv
  Replies (8) Good night (1771) Bad night (900)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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  (713): then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate http://tfl.nu/58hb
  Replies (32) Good night (6158) Bad night (1103)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous

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  (267): Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous http://tfl.nu/kdtt
  Replies (11) Good night (966) Bad night (3909)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer

  (678): View more from Georgia

  you spelled her name wrong

  (404): View more from Georgia

  not you too!!

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  (404): I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer (678): you spelled her name wrong (404): not you too!! http://tfl.nu/woxr
  Replies (49) Good night (1640) Bad night (4586)
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  (925): View more from California

  Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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  (925): Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay? http://tfl.nu/89t2
  Replies (35) Good night (2130) Bad night (5449)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.

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  (815): Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites. http://tfl.nu/zd6b
  Replies (27) Good night (1410) Bad night (5130)
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  (518): View more from New York

  ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.

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  (518): ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified. http://tfl.nu/6dxz
  Replies (7) Good night (2359) Bad night (1086)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.

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  (724): Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard. http://tfl.nu/7cwy
  Replies (4) Good night (2065) Bad night (1274)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?

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  (317): Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I? http://tfl.nu/gm7j
  Replies (14) Good night (1759) Bad night (1112)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.

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  (989): Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning. http://tfl.nu/ngc6
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (385)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover

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  (847): A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover http://tfl.nu/j4ep
  Replies (4) Good night (1280) Bad night (477)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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  (514): OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR! http://tfl.nu/abrr
  Replies (14) Good night (821) Bad night (665)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.

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  (216): Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home. http://tfl.nu/lgr9
  Replies (1) Good night (384) Bad night (280)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.

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  (412): That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude. http://tfl.nu/6t77
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (350)

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