Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
