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Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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