You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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