Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
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Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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