Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
soo... how was my night?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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