we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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