Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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